I've had the same Livejournal account for the past three and a half years. In that time, it's surely served me well; it's given me a place to store my thoughts when my mind was incapable of forcing my hands to write, and it's given me a location where I could post my meanderings where they had the chance to be read and analyzed by my peers. But the person that I was three and a half years ago... I don't even know who that person was anymore. I can't understand his motivation, I can't duplicate his thought processes, and I can barely remember what his life was like. It's an insult to his memory for me to continue to use Livejournal the way that I have been. I want to leave the past where it lies, not continue to churn it up every time that I have another thought to post, another question to ask or another miscellaneous fragment of my personality to add to the complex tapestry that I've become.
I want to start over. I don't want to abandon my past, because I know that without it, I won't have a future. I simply want to be able to accept that the past is in the past, and chose which parts of the past that I allow to affect me in the future. And so I will, starting right now and right here.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
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