Need To Know

The thing that most people need to know about me is that I'm psychic. Yes, 'psychic' is a broad term ranging from telekinesis, a talent which I do not possess, all the way to telepathy, with which I am indeed cursed, and even including 'the Gift of Prophesy,' yet another annoyance that I face in my day-to-day life.

Mind, the truth behind psychics has been vastly warped by the media and a general lack of understanding in society. No, I am incapable of directly influencing the actions of other people with my mind, though I am quite persuasive due to my ability to indirectly influence thought; yes, I do hear other peoples' thoughts, but it is chaotic and beyond comprehension unless I am quite attached to the person who I am attempting to hear; yes, physical contact heightens the connection, but no, I do not believe that it is so for every psychic. But I don't want to focus on my telepathy, nor do I want to explain the way in which it functions; I've explained it to the people who matter for the moment, and I shall only explain it further to anyone who I believed needs to know at my own discretion.

I'm 'gifted' with 'Prophesy.' Essentially, this means that I know the general flow of events as caused by the vast uncertainty of Cosmic actions; it means that I know the answer to the question before I know what the question is. But it also means that I know that I'm incapable of knowing the answer without knowing the question; it means that I as a consciousness understand the impossibility of my mind to comprehend the workings of the Cosmos on a scale where time is a negligible variable. It means that I'm in contradiction with myself, at least where time is concerned.

The 'gift of Prophesy' is a constant annoyance in my life. Imagine knowing that a person will die- and not only that they will die, since we all know that on some level, but rather when and how they will die... and being incapable of action, because the death is necessary. Imagine the tediousness of asking a question, the complex answer to which you already know. Imagine the anguish of acting as if you were something that you know you're not? In this sense, my entire life has been a sham. I have feigned interest in every person that I have ever met, because I have known that I would have an impact upon them and eventually spur them on to their destiny; I have pretended to love, hate, envy and be disinterested in people who I needed to love, hate, envy and be disinterested in.

People who think of these things must ask themselves 'Why?' And even I must ask myself, Why do I continue to enforce Fate? Can I deviate? If I deviate, will I know I have, or will it have been predetermined?
For as close as I innately am to Fate, I do not know the answer. Every moment of my life, I have kept my head down and watched where I was stepping, and for every step I've taken, I've met a road that was lain before I took the step. I cannot act to stop death, because death is final; I must ask the question because the answer must be spoken, be it for the speaker's own knowledge, the inhalation and exhalation of the breath or the ultimate destination of the voice; I must be what I have become as surely as I must keep my eyes, regardless of their faulty construction. I am as the waking dead, nothing more than a puppet to act upon the whims of the master and nothing more than dead weight upon the strings.

Why do I share this? Why do I have any intention to welcome anyone into my version of reality? For the same reason I do anything else. Those who believe in my words will find that they hold weight, and those who believe me senseless will find that I am. Regardless, the thought of it will impact their decisions in the future, spurring them on towards their goals, whatever they may or may not be and regardless of if they understand what they are.